Mavis' Boyfriend
Unknown episode and unknown season Whole Story It was an unusual day at Sodor High School. Thomas, Percy & Toby were walking around how they usually did before something random happened. Well, that part was normal. No, the really unusual thing about today was Mavis wasn't following Toby around. In fact, they hadn't seen Mavis all day. Toby: I wonder where Mavis is. Thomas: Maybe she got suspended again. Percy: Maybe she got arrested & she's behind bars wearing a tight leather jumpsuit. Toby smacked Percy in the back of the head with one of his textbooks. Toby: Shut up Percy! Thomas: Look, there she is. Just then, Mavis walked up to them. Toby: Hi Mavis. I hadn't seen you all day. I figured you'd be following us over to Thomas's later. Mavis: Not today Toby. I have a date. TPT: What? Mavis: See ya. Mavis walked away, leaving the boys with stupid looks on their faces. Toby: Did I hear her right? Thomas: I think so. Mavis said she has a date. Percy: What do you think about that Toby? For a minute, Toby was speechless. Then a huge grin slowly began to form on his clueless little face. Toby: YES!!!! It's a miracle! At last I'll finally be in peace! And with that Toby started swinging Percy Doe-see-doe. Later, Thomas Percy and Toby were all in their rooms playing video games. Toby was kicking zombie butts and still grinning like the stoner cat from Alice in Wonderland. Toby: DIE ZOMBIES, DIE!! DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!!! *Laughs maniacally* Thomas: Whoa easy there. You're gonna shatter all my records. Toby: Killing zombies with Percy and Diesel's heads makes me thirsty. I'm gonna get me a steamie soda. Thomas: Get me one too. Toby: Want a steamie soda Percy? Percy: Actually I… *gets elbowed by Thomas*… I'll take a Mountain Dew. Toby heads to the mini fridge. Percy: What did you do that for Thomas? I wasn't thirsty. Thomas: I wanted to talk to you about our little problem. Any minute now, the reality's gonna set in, and Toby's head will explode. Percy: COOL!!!! Thomas smacked Percy upside the head. Thomas: No Percy! It's NOT cool! We're gonna have to clean the mess up! Toby returned with some cans of steamie soda. He had heard the last statement Thomas had said. Toby: What mess? Thomas: Oh, um, Percy knocked over a bag of chips. Percy: *Looked at Thomas and Thomas glares at him. Yes. I've been a very bad boy. Toby: Well I believe your bull shit excuse of a story. Now let's kill more zombies!! So they continued playing and Toby smiled evilly as the zombies died. Next day at school, Toby came in skipping and singing very cheerfully. Would have even given the Care Bears nightmares. Toby: *Singing while kicking Percy in the head. Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day! Toby skipped off to the bathroom while Edward, who had witnessed the disturbing dancing came by. Edward: *To Thomas. Toby has really lost it hasn't he? Thomas: Lost it implies he actually had it to begin with. Percy: He's just upset about Mavis and he's pretending he's happy by dancing, skipping, and killing zombies. Thomas: Great observation, Percy. And I only had to explain it to you 500 times. Come on let's go. So they got to class. Toby wasn't there cause he was too busy skipping happily through the halls to pay attention to what time it was. As he was skipping he saw Mavis with a guy and tripped over himself. Toby: That must be her new boyfriend. Man is he ugly! He makes Diesel look like one of those topless guys Percy's mom has secret dream affairs with. Mavis: Hi Toby. This is Collin, my new boyfriend. Collin: *in shitty British Accent. You must be Toby, the Redneck Scarecrow Mavis has told me about. Toby: *Ticked off. Nice to see you too Colon. Collin: It's Collin. Toby: Whatever. You're ugly. Collin: My mummy says I'm handsome. Toby: Yeah, as handsome as a wart on the anus of a dead farmer with worms coming out of his mouth. Mavis: On that note, we're off to take the Principal Hatt's car for a joyride. See you later. Collin: Yes, I do believe it is time to cause trouble for the fat slob who runs this place. Goodbye Toby. Toby: *Giving the him the finger* Nice to see you… leaving fuck face! And as Mavis and Collin left, Collin swore he saw Toby giving him the finger. Toby then looked at the clock and realized something. Toby: Shit! I'm late for class! *realizes something. And this is a bad thing? I'm gonna go kill zombies. So Toby headed off to play Video Games. Soon Thomas and Percy showed up. Thomas: Toby! You weren't in any classes today. Toby ignored him and continued shooting at zombies. Toby: Die Colon! DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE!!!!!! *Laughs maniacally. Thomas and Percy looked at each other confused. Then they checked out SkarloeyVision and watched the scene with Toby and Collin. Percy: Toby, are you jealous of Mavis's new boyfriend? Toby: Jealous? Why would I be jealous of Colon? Thomas: It's Collin. Toby: Looks like a colon to me. But I'm not jealous, not at all. Dude's so ugly that when he was born, his momma burned his face and kissed his ass. Thomas and Percy laughed, and Toby went back to his game. The next day, Toby actually showed up for class. Edward was taking notes, James and Molly were making out, Henry was snoring, Gordon was eating, Daisy and her stuck-up friends were making fun of everyone, and Diesel was throwing paper airplanes at the teacher. All the while, Toby was beginning to get annoyed. Suddenly, without warning, he just started screaming like Diesel 10 at an AA meeting. Toby: SHUT UP!! EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! What's wrong with you? *points to Daisy and her friends* Don't you whores have anything better to do than make fun of everyone? "She's fat. He's ugly. Her outfit sucks." GET A LIFE! And Gordon, you're always eating, and you talk with your mouth full, so food flies out all over your desk. GROSS! Henry, you snore too loud! Maybe if you didn't stay up all night with your friends getting high, you might actually stay awake for an entire school day. James, you have no modesty at all whatsoever! No wonder Murdoch always wants to kill you! Why don't you and Molly just get a room already? Only don't ask me to baby-sit any of your demon asshoes. And you Edward… Edward: What did I do? Toby: You were writing too loud. Oh, and you're a nerd. As for you Diesel, where do I begin? YOU'RE ONE OF THE WORST PEOPLE I'VE EVER MET! If you didn't spend every minute of your life getting drunk and being a complete jackass to everyone, you might actually have a friend you're not related to. Maybe if you're lucky, Mavis will show up to your execution, because it will happen. One day you'll wind up in prison, and you will fry on death row! You know why? Because you're a punk! You're a sad, alcoholic punk, and EVERYBODY HATES YOU!!! Everyone sat there in shock. Toby: I NEED SOME AIR! Toby stormed out of the room. James: Whoa! Who knew Scarecrow had that kinda anger? Thomas: We'd better go check on him. Come on Percy. So Thomas and Percy went to look for Toby, and they found him in Principal Hatt's liquor cabinet drinking rum and talking to himself. Toby: *slurring* Look at me. I'm Colon, and my face looks like shit! Percy: Toby, are you okay? Toby: *not noticing Thomas and Percy standing there* WOOOO!!! Let's steal the fat man's car Mavis! Then we can rob a few convenience stores and leave flaming bags of shit in the parking lot! Why? 'Cause I'm Colon, and I'm full of shit! Toby chucked the empty bottle at the wall, and it shattered into a million pieces. Thomas: Toby! Toby looked over. Toby: Well, if it isn't Pomas and Tercy! WAZZUP! Percy: Toby you're drunk as fuck! Toby: And? *opens a new bottle and takes a swig* Thomas: Toby, stop drinking! *grabs the bottle* Come on Percy. Let's take him back to our room and sober him up. Toby tried to run away, but instead he ran face first into the wall and fell over. Thomas and Percy picked him up and carried him out. Just then, Diesel came out of nowhere. Diesel: *to Thomas and Percy* What's his problem? Thomas: I think you know. Diesel: Well, good riddance! Toby brought this all on himself. You hear that Fruitcake?! YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF!!! So DON'T YOU DARE try to get any pity out of me! You know what else? I'm glad I set Mavis up with Collin. She's happier than I've seen her in years! Toby: You WHAT??? Diesel: You heard me! Toby: Why would you set Mavis up with a guy that fugly? Diesel: He's not nearly as fugly as you, and he doesn't smell like someone barfed up a liquor factory. Toby took a swing at Diesel but missed by a mile. Diesel laughed his butt off. Thomas and Percy were furious. Percy: Shut up Diesel! Diesel: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! You know what Fruitcake? I think you have better aim when you're drunk. Suddenly, Toby grabbed his stomach and threw up all over Diesel. Thomas and Percy laughed. Thomas: Now who smells like a puked-up liquor factory? Diesel: THAT WAS A $300 LEATHER JACKET!!! Toby: Well, now it ain't even worth a bottle of Jack Daniels! Diesel: I'LL KILL YOU! Just then, Principa Hatt arrived. Principal Hatt: What's going on here? Thomas, Percy, Toby, and Diesel looked over and notice not only the fat man, but almost the entire school watching them. Principal Hatt: Diesel, my office! NOW! Principal Hatt and Diesel went to the office, and Thomas and Percy took Toby to their room. In the car Toby was still pouting in denial. Toby: I do not miss Mavis! No way, no shirt, no shoes, no service! Then when they got to their room and began playing video games, Toby was just staring at the screen and suddenly his face puckered up and tears formed in his eyes. Toby: *Nearly crying. I MISS MAVIS!!!!!!!! Percy: Welcome to the Truth Toby. It's about damn time. Now, whatcha gonna do about it? Toby: *Crying. I don't know! Percy: Well, lucky for you, I know where they're having their date. Toby: *Shaking Percy. TELL ME!! Percy: At the Bowling Alley! Toby: Quick! To the Tom Mobile! Thomas: Wait a minute Toby! There's no way you're driving my car while you're drunk! Toby: That's why I said the Tom Mobile. What do you think I am, an idiot? Soon, Thomas was driving Percy and Toby to the bowling alley with Toby being silly along the way. Toby: *Standing upside down in the backseat. I am upside down man! Thomas: WHAT THE HELL?!? Toby: I am upside down man! Thomas: Toby, sit up! You're going to get us arrested for driving a crazy drunk! Then I might get life sentence for strangling you and Percy to death! Toby: That would suck. Soon they made it to the bowling alley. Toby stumbled in and saw Mavis and Collin bowling. Toby: I'm gonna tear his head off and use it for a bowling ball! Thomas: Settle down, Beavis. Toby: Shut up, Fuck face! So Toby marched angrily down to Collin and Mavis. Just as Mavis was beginning to bowl, Collin slapped her butt and she fell. Mavis: Damn it Collin! I told you if you did that again I'd rip off your ears and cram them up your ass so you'd hear me kick the shit out of you! Toby then snuck up behind Collin and began strangling him like how Homer did it on the Simpsons. Toby: DIE COLON!!! DIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mavis: Toby? Toby: Not now Mavis. Mommy and Daddy are talking right now. And by mommy and daddy are talking right now, I mean that I'm strangling Colon to death right now! Collin: *Choking. Somebody… call… my… mummy… Toby: I'LL MUMMY YOU, YOU FUGLY PIECE OF SHIT!! Then Toby squeezed harder until Collin was blue in the face. Suddenly Collin stopped squirming. Toby: I… I did it. I killed Colon with my own 2 hands. *Triumphant. YEEESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then Thomas checked Collin's pulse. Thomas: Nope. He's just passed out. Toby: SHIT!!! Thomas: Well, you might get arrested for assault, but you won't be sent to death row. Suddenly he turned and saw everybody, even the weirdoes from school watching. Toby: Will you people get a life? Principal Hatt: If we had one, why would we be here? Toby: To annoy me! Then Diesel came in. He saw Collin and was mad. Diesel: WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FUTURE BROTHER-IN-LAW?! Toby: Brother-in-law?! Over my dead body! Diesel: That dork was richer than Spencer! If Mavis had married him, I could have gotten him to hire someone to kill you unless you killed yourself, then I'd be able to buy every liquor facotry in the world and make them give me drinks for free! Mavis: Would somebody please tell me what in the name of hell is going on here? Percy: Toby was upset about you dating that Collin guy, but didn't think he was supposed to be upset, so he went around singing & killing zombies until he actually met the dude. Then he went bad shit crazy & started screaming, drinking & puking, so we came here, and well, you know the rest. Thomas: NOW he gets it. Mavis: Is this true, Toby? Were you really that jealous of Collin? Toby: *looks down* Umm…maybe a little. Percy: Tell her why Toby. Toby elbowed Percy in the gut. Toby: Well um...let me put this in a song Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boy... Have you ever had the feeling you're drawn to someone? (Yeah) Any reason anything they could've said or done? And everyday I see you on you're own And I can't believe that you're alone But I overheard your girls and this is what they said Looking for a Looking for a That you're looking for a boyfriend I see that Give me time, you know I'm gonna be that Don't be scared to go put your trust in me Can't you see all I really want to be Is your boyfriend Can't fight that Knock me down you know I'm coming right back I don't care at all what you've done before All I really want is to be your Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend Let me take a little moment to find the right words (To find the right words) So when I kick it to you it ain't something that you've heard (Something that you've heard) I don't know what kind of guy that you prefer But I know I gotta put myself for worse See I think you got the kind of love that you deserve And I heard that That you're looking for a boyfriend I see that Give me time, you know I'm gonna be that Don't be scared to go put your trust in me Can't you see all I really want to be Is your boyfriend Can't fight that Knock me down you know I'm coming right back I don't care at all what you've done before All I really want is to be your Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend If you tell me where, I'm waiting here Everyday like slum-dog millionaire Bigger than the twilight love affair I'll be here Girl I swear Looking for a Looking for a That your looking for a boyfriend I see that Give me time, you know I'm gonna be that Don't be scared to go put your trust in me Can't you see all I really want to be Is your boyfriend Can't fight that Knock me down you know I'm coming right back I don't care at all what you've done before All I really want is to be your Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend (Your boyfriend) Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend (All I really want is to be your) (Your boyfriend) Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend (Yeah) (All I really want is to be your) Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend Your boy boy b-b-boy-b-b-boyfriend All I really want is to be your... Mavis: *hugging Toby* Oh Toby-Muffin! You really do love me! Toby: Whatever. I just don't get why you even liked that guy. Mavis: I didn't. I only went out with him to make you jealous. Toby: Well, I guess that makes me a ass wipe. Look Mavis, I wasn't jealous that he was your boyfriend or that you even had a boyfriend. I just didn't like that you were spending all your time with that fugly loser. I missed hanging out with you. You're the only one that's ever beaten me at Zombies or watched an entire movie with me without falling asleep or looking at a Playboy the entire time. Thomas: Yeah, right. Percy: Denial's not just a river in Peru, you know. Thomas: That's Egypt. Percy: Hey, Egypt! That's a good idea. Let's go over to our room and kill mummies. So they all went to Thomas' room. Toby and Mavis killed mummies while Percy looked at a dirty magazine and Thomas doodled Emily's name with hearts around it all over his notebook. And I bet you're wondering whatever happened to Collin. Well, after he regained consciousness, he went home and whined to his mommy while sucking his thumb and playing with his pet brick. Also it turned out that he was a wanted criminal. Yup, he had 13 Warrants for Counterfeiting. He was arrested later and sentenced to a month of community service. Luckly Toby had done the police a favor when he choked Collin into a Coma the night Toby got Mavis' attention back, so the cops chose not to arrest him. And Toby and Mavis lived psychotically ever after. THE END Character *Thomas *Toby *Percy *Mavis *Diesel *Collin *Principal Hatt *Daisy *James *Molly *Gordon *Edward *Henry *Rosie Location *Sodor High School *Tidmouth Boarding House *Tom Mobile Category:Episode Category:Sodor High School